12 Surprising Facts About Infidelity

Can you spot a husband prone to infidelity? If he’s unhappy with his wife, he’ll cheat, right? Not necessarily. According to a Rutgers University study, 56 percent of men who have affairs claim to be happy in their marriages. They’re largely satisfied with all they have and aren’t looking for a way out, yet they still find themselves in bed with other women—and in hot water with their wives. Here, experts explain this phenomenon and dispel other popular cheating myths.

Fact #1: Most men are still in love with their wives when they cheat.

Men who cheat haven’t fallen out of love; they’ve become unsatisfied with the current state of it. “Cheating usually occurs in the phase of companionate love, when couples begin to settle down, have kids and solidify the life being built together,” says clinical psychologist Andra Brosh, PhD. While they’re fulfilled in some areas, like being a provider, the romance may be missing. “We more often think of women complaining about a lack of romance, but men feel it, too,” says Dr. Brosh. “They frequently suffer in silence, believing they can’t get what they want from their spouses.” To avoid this in your marriage, plan nights out together, set aside time for sex and discuss hopes and dreams—not just workdays and your son’s last soccer game.

Fact #2: Men usually cheat with women they know.

Cheaters don’t generally pick up random women in bars. “My first husband cheated on me with a childhood friend,” says Diane* from New York City. “His family was close to her family, so they never lost touch.” Intimacy expert Mary Jo Rapini explains, “A lot of women think that all cheating women are floozies—not true. The relationships are usually friendships first.” A good idea: Make sure your husband feels more connected to you than to his business partner. “Spouses go to work, take care of their kids and do separate things at night. That has to stop,” says Rapini. She suggests always going to bed at the same time and cuddling.

Fact #3: Men cheat to save their marriages

“Men love their spouses, but they don’t know how to fix their relationship problems, so they go outside their marriages to fill any holes,” says licensed marriage and family therapist Susan Mandel, PhD. Men want it all and have the skewed notion that another woman will make the longing for something more disappear. Then, they can live happily ever after with their wife—and their mistress—without confronting the real issues.

Fact #4: Men hate themselves after affairs.

You may think of cheaters as men without morals, but while they may like what they did, they tend to despise themselves after their indiscretions. “If he puts his ego to the side, he’ll feel like a piece of garbage,” says relationship expert Charles J. Orlando, author of The Problem with Women…Is Men. “After all, he’s betraying another human being who he claims to care about, so that takes its toll on every part of his psyche.” A cheater can feel as though he’s failed as a man.

Fact #5: Cheaters often get friskier with their wives when affairs begin.

Just because a husband’s touchy-feely doesn’t mean his marriage is on firm footing. “When a man starts cheating, he becomes hyperactive sexually,” says Rapini, explaining that his sex drive has been awakened, and his wife is still the one with whom he feels most comfortable sexually. If you notice a sudden change in your husband’s sex drive, it should raise a red flag. Be on the lookout for the switch to flip off again. “After the affair is solid, he may begin to pull away,” says Rapini.

Fact #6: Women cheat just as much as men, and their affairs are often more dangerous.

An Indiana University study shows that men and women cheat at the same rate. But “the reasons the sexes cheat are different,” says Orlando. He explains women are more likely to cheat for emotional satisfaction. “Online cheating—without any physical contact—is the most damaging type of infidelity,” says Orlando. Becoming emotionally invested in another person means you’ve likely checked out of your marriage. But if it’s just sex, it’s less about attachment and more about a hurtful mistake.

Fact #7: A wife often knows her husband’s cheating.

How could Tiger Woods’s ex, Elin Nordegren, and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s ex, Maria Shriver, not have known what their high-profile husbands were up to? They probably did, but couldn’t bear to acknowledge it. “At one level, I knew, but my denial was so strong,” says Lily* from Toronto, Canada. “The pain, had I accepted it at that time, would have been too horrendous, so I had to process it slowly.” According to Dr. Brosh, the jilted celebrities were likely doing the same thing: choosing what they could live with for the sake of their kids or to avoid humiliation and the fallout.

Fact #8: A couple will never work it out when the husband is in the midst of an affair.

They could agree to work on things, but it won’t matter. If he’s still in the throes of a hot, new romance, nothing a woman does will drag him out of it. “He’s got such positivity happening, without all the drama that exists in the established relationship,” says Orlando. The marriage will likely fail, unless he decides on his own accord that life isn’t better with the other woman. So the key is prevention. Continue to be the woman he first fell for throughout your marriage. “Women often turn from a loving girlfriend into a nagging wife. Men aren’t attracted to that.” Dole out compliments and surprise him with sex—don’t just yell at him about that towel on the bathroom floor, suggests Dr. Mandel.

Fact #9: Affairs can sometimes fix a marriage.

Is infidelity the kiss of death for a couple? Not always. Although a new relationship is exciting, “an affair can rekindle the marriage,” says Orlando. “Men realize who they want for the rest of their lives and that the new relationship isn’t as perfect as they thought.” But think hard before returning to a cheater. “Flings can highlight how little self-control someone has,” explains Orlando. Still, if it was truly a one-time slip, it’s possible to get back on track.

Fact #10: Even after rebuilding the marriage, a husband may still miss the affair.

Sadly, he might love his wife and want to salvage the marriage, but he doesn’t totally forget about the affair. “He might miss the great things about the other woman—fun, zero responsibilities, sex, the rush or the chase—but oftentimes he misses how he feels about himself when he was with her, which is more damaging if he’s trying to return to his marriage,” says Orlando. Again, acting as you did when the relationship was new could help.

Fact #11: A cheater knows he’s hurting the woman he loves, tearing his family apart and sacrificing his honor.

A man may realize the negative impact on his wife, family and himself, but still continue an affair. How? “It’s all in the perception of the cheater,” says Orlando. “If he feels unwanted, undervalued and taken for granted, his personal needs of being wanted, valued and appreciated will win out.”

Fact #12: The wife’s not to blame if her husband cheats on her.

Realize this: If your husband is unfaithful, it’s not your fault, no matter what people say. “When a man cheats, he’s making a conscious choice to do it,” says Dr. Brosh. “The idea of being pushed into the arms of another woman is an expression, not a reality.” Orlando echoes this sentiment: “Men don’t cheat because of who she is; they cheat because of who they’re not,” he says. “The ‘fault’ is that the signs of disconnection have been ignored by both parties.

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7 telltale signs of a cheating wife

Experts have given a few sings to look out for if you want to know weather your wife is cheating on you.

Firstly, phone calls – any change in phone calls including frequency of calls, time of day, tone of voice or a change in text messaging habits could all signify that she is cheating. When she answers the phone, does she drop her volume or suddenly sound as flirtatious as she did when you were first dating?

If it seems like her phone habits are changing and you cannot understand the changes, you may be witnessing an affair, the Huffington Post reported.

Secondly, dates with girlfriends – is she spending more time with her girlfriends than in the past? Are there many evenings out with the girls, when there were almost none just a short while ago? When you ask her who she will be with, does her answer sound sincere?

If any of these scenarios ring a bell, your wife may be going out, but not with the girls. If she was not socializing with her friends with the same frequency that she is now, that is a sign. If she is doing different things than she did with the girls in the past, that is a good indication that all is not what it seems.

Thirdly, showering and the gym – does she come home freshly showered, when in the past she did not shower during the day? Does she seem to be going to the gym more often than she used to?

There are two parts to this one. The gym excuse could be legitimate; it just might be that she is going there more frequently. The problem is that she might be working out more to impress her new love interest. And if she is not in need of her usual shower at night, chances are she is showering after an afternoon of steamy sex, followed by a steamy shower.

Fourthly, cologne – does she ever smell of different cologne, one that is more masculine than hers? Do you ever comment on the new scent she is wearing, only to find that she does not apply the same scent at home?

It could be that the new scent is not hers, but his. Do you by any chance recognize the scent as one you might have tried in the past? Do you recognize it as a scent one of your friends wears?

Fifthly, eye contact – has she stopped making eye contact when answering questions about where she has been and what she has been doing? Does she avoid looking you straight in the eye, when that was not an issue before?

For most people, it is very challenging to look someone who knows you very well in the eye and tell an out-and-out lie. If your wife is lying to you, there is a very good likelihood that she will be looking anywhere but into your eyes when she does.

Next, alcohol and other substances – is she drinking outside the home at odd times or more than before? Have you suspected drug use, where there was none before? Does she ever smell of cigarettes, even though she doesn’t smoke?

If you are seeing any of these scenarios, there is probably a partner in crime. Sex, drugs and rock and roll all go together, as does alcohol, and could all be indulged in during a tryst. If she smells of cigarettes and she does not smoke, you can bet that he does. You know, almost certainly, that someone else is influencing her choices if these behaviors are taking place when they were not happening before.

Lastly, sexual deviations – does she want sex less often than usual? Does she seem to just be going through the motions? Is she asking for things you never did before or teaching you new tricks?

Any extreme variances in sexual behavior are possible indications that there is a new influence in her life. While there are other possible circumstances, the most likely scenario is that she is getting fulfilled outside of the relationship or realizing that there are new and different things that she enjoys and is bringing them into your bed.

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Woman stabs husband in hospital over alleged affairs

A jobless woman who was visiting her husband in hospital ended up stabbing him over suspicions of his extramarital affairs.

This happened on September 22 last year, which was the day he was to be discharged.

The court heard that Quek Chin Fern, 38, visited her husband at Singapore General Hospital, where he had been receiving treatment for acid burn injuries sustained in an earlier assault by three unknown assailants.

During the visit, she raised the issue of his suspected infidelity.

This escalated into an argument.

Quek then took out a knife from her bag and swung it at her husband.

She stabbed him several times on his shoulder, cheek and neck.

A nurse saw him being attacked and alerted security immediately.

Quek’s husband suffered multiple lacerations.

The accused was fined S$4,000.

For voluntarily causing hurt, she could have been jailed up to two years and fined S$5,000. CHANNEL NEWSASIA

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Deputy’s wife claims he pistol-whipped her

Authorities are looking for an Orangeburg County Sheriff’s deputy after a woman was allegedly pistol-whipped and beaten during a domestic argument.

Dorchester County Sheriff’s deputies met a 23-year-old woman at a convenience store Wednesday night, according to an incident report.

She said her husband, 45-year-old Cpl. Kenneth Winningham, a deputy with Orangeburg County, had fired shots near her and assaulted her.

The woman said she was awakened by her husband around 12:30 a.m. Wednesday when he accused her of infidelity, the report said. He allegedly began beating her and later fired two rounds from a .45-caliber handgun.

Authorities with the Orangeburg County Sheriff’s Office went to Winningham’s Summerville residence and retrieved Winningham’s county-issued equipment.

DCSO spokesman Maj. John Garrison said as of late Thursday no warrants have been obtained against Winningham.

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Mass. Officer Shot Cop over Apparent Love Affair

In an incredibly sad stage of events a Hamilton policeman thought his wife was having an affair with a Beverly officer and shot him in front of a crowded coffee shop before killing himself hours later. The morning of the shooting, Kenneth Nagy confronted Jason Lantych on the phone with his suspicions, and Lantych asked if they could meet in person, telling Nagy, “It’s not what you think, Ken.” Reports show that Lantych suggested meeting at Starbucks and joked that it was because he didn’t want Nagy to shoot him. Whether or not this ill-timed line had given Nagy the idea in the first place, we might not ever know. But after the initial shooting, Nagy returned to the coffee shop several hours later and shot himself in the head.

Although interestingly, prosecutors say that the only person who actually committed a crime was Nagy, and as he was now deceased there was no need for further investigation of this incident. Lantych ultimately survived the ordeal due to quick-thinking bystanders who were able to give rudimentary medical attention to Lantych until he paramedics were able to see him.

Nagy, 43, was a 19-year veteran of the Hamilton department. He and his wife, Katherine, had two children. His wife knew Lantych from her work as the Beverly department’s domestic violence victim advocate. Lantych also tells reporters that he and Nagy’s wife, Katherine, were never intimate and that she had once “poured her heart out,” to Lantych.

The prosecutor’s report said that on the day of the shooting, Nagy called in sick for his midnight shift, woke up his wife, and told her he believed she was having an affair with Lantych; they also discussed divorce, the report said. Found with Nagy’s body at Starbucks was a journal and copy of a suicide note, in which he said he intended to shoot Lantych and kill himself.

Not for the first time has this kind of story been heard of. In fact, there are several stories of officers having affairs with their colleagues and superiors wives. It’s been called one of the most problematic interdepartmental issues within the ranks of officers.

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Man slices rival’s penis

Blaise Fragione, 38, admits that in October 2008 he knocked out the victim, named only as “F.”, with a blow to the head, severed most of his penis with a razor knife and threw it in the toilet.

Fragione says that he “lost it” after F. came to tell him he was having a relationship with “Mado”, his partner of 14 years and mother of his two children.

“The sudden revelation of this adultery made him lose control,” said Fragione’s lawyer, Marc Ceccaldi. “He is well aware that he caused a significant trauma.”

Fragione faces up to 15 years in prison if found guilty of “aggravated assault accompanied by mutilation”.

The victim maintains that Fragione forced him to go to his home, where he tied him up and mutilated him.

F. is “extremely fragile… his life has been completely destroyed,” said his lawyer, Jorge Mendes Constante

The shortening of his penis to three centimetres (just over an inch) when flaccid and five centimetres when erect had resulted in “a deterioration of his self-perception, affecting his social, interpersonal and sex life.”

The victim is awaiting surgical reconstruction.

His former lover has returned to her original partner, whom she now plans to marry.

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Signs of a Cheating Spouse

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What do private investigators say are the most common signs of a cheating spouse?

When you suspect infidelity in your relationship it can be difficult to determine whether or not your suspicions are valid and if so, what to do next. At PInow, we surveyed our network of trusted infidelity investigators to find out what, in their experience, are the common indications of infidelity in a relationship. The following graphic displays the six major signs of a cheating spouse, what to expect in an infidelity investigation and other statistics on infidelity and marriage.

And the 6 common signs of a cheating spouse are …

1. Changes in Intimacy 2. Suspicious Phone Habits 3. Changes in Appearance 4. Suspicious Internet Use 5. Changes in Work Routine 6. Changes in Bathing Habits

Other signs included concealing credit card statements or having bills mailed to a P.O. box, finding strange receipts, going out or running long errands without the spouse, flirting with friends of the opposite sex and a change in overall attitude. Infidelity investigations can cost anywhere from $500 to $5,000 and last anywhere from 4 hours to 6 months. Most investigators said their investigations verify infidelity 75-100% of the time. Other statistics show that when spouses cheat, 55% of the time it’s the husband while 45% of the time it’s the wife. 30-60% of married people will cheat on their spouse according to a range that compensates for dishonesty among study participants. 74% of husbands and 68% of wives say they would have an affair if they knew they wouldn’t get caught. 85% of wives who suspect their husbands are cheating are correct 85% of the time, while husbands who suspect their wives are cheating are correct 50% of the time. Marriage statistics were provided by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, Indiana University, Business Week, The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal

Spying in the name of love

At what point are you crossing the line when you invade a partner’s privacy?

When Patricia Masterson’s boyfriend broke into her email account in search of evidence that she had been cheating, she was deeply offended by the violation of her privacy. The fact that she had, indeed, been cheating hardly seemed like a good excuse.

She changed her tune 10 years later, when, married and pregnant, Masterson innocently spotted a text message on her husband’s cellphone from a woman regarding a baby. Her husband said it must have been sent to him by mistake, and Masterson, sensitive to privacy, left it alone — until a few months later, when the woman contacted Masterson through Facebook to reveal she’d recently given birth to her husband’s child.

“I became a snooper,” said Masterson, now 39, a Defense Department contractor living in northern Virginia. She tore through cellphone records and installed software to recover deleted emails, gathering all the details she could. “It was so not me; up until that point I had believed in absolute privacy.”

When, if ever, is it OK to invade a romantic partner’s privacy? Masterson and others who have perpetrated or suffered betrayal (or both) say it’s often the only way to confirm suspicions of infidelity when all else fails.

But it can take much less for people to snoop.

Thirty-three percent of dating couples and 37 percent of spouses — slightly more women than men — say they have checked their partner’s email or call history on the sly, according to a survey last year by the gadget shopping site Retrevo.com, which queried more than 1,000 people online. Among those under 25, almost half reported snooping. Just 9 percent discovered evidence of cheating.

Retrevo.com spokeswoman Jennifer Jacobson said she doesn’t think young couples are less trusting. “It’s just that technology has made everyone’s communications highly accessible and people probably don’t see it as a violation of trust, because of how easy it is to do.”

Larry Rosen, author of “iDisorder: Understanding Our Obsession With Technology and Overcoming Its Hold on Us” (Palgrave Macmillan), said millennials raised on a culture of Facebook stalking view privacy differently from baby boomers or Gen Xers (roughly people over 35).

“For older people, the lines are clear: Private is private, public is public,” said Rosen, a research psychologist and professor at California State University at Dominguez Hills. “For younger people it’s much more murky.”

Flirting with fire

If technology has made it easier to spy, it has also made it easier to cheat, muddying what is considered appropriate relationships. Facebook invites flirting with exes, and some people never know whom their partner is texting. Is that OK? Depends on the couple. But it can get out of hand.

The ping of a saucy text message stimulates the brain’s pleasure centers, as does cocaine, and people want more, Rosen said.

He recommends people abide by a five-minute “e-waiting period” before sending an electronic communication so that they can be more clear-headed about whether it’s a good idea.

“It’s an issue of higher-level thinking versus lower-order responding,” Rosen said. “We have turned into salivating dogs, and we have to back off a bit.”

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Background checks encouraged for online dating

It’s not the kind of cheating most victims had in mind.

As millions of lonely hearts and lusty pants head online to find mates and dates, those who specialize in finding skeletons in the closet are warning online daters to be careful.

This comes a few days after a Toronto human resources firm called for all dating sites to make users supply a criminal background check as part of the registration process.

Ottawa private investigator Robert Gater said that’s “part of a good first step.”

Over the past few years he’s been hired more than a dozen times to find any available dirt on potential boyfriends or girlfriends found online.

A criminal background check will tell someone what their lover has done in the past, but not necessarily what they’re up to now.

That information comes from people like Gater, who do surveillance on top of research.

There are several cases of killers using dating sites to find victims. Investigators in Long Island, N.Y., are currently hunting the so-called Craigslist Ripper, wanted for 10 murders.

The cases in Ottawa appear to be more financially motivated.

“One guy hired me who was in Florida but met a woman online here who said she was in the middle of a divorce, was well-off but her income was in escrow. He lent her money. Sure enough, she’s happily married and was currently doing this to two or three other guys,” he said.

Gater said sometimes he’s asked to get involved before potential victims find out what the motive is — online.

“She sent him back some stunningly attractive photos,” said Gater. “They weren’t of her. She looked nothing like that.”

The woman was also married and was simply taking the photos off a stranger’s public Facebook profile.

“The guy was quite devastated. They had conversations for hours, stringing him along for the better part of the year. He thought she was smokin’ hot.”

Gater figures about 35% of all men on dating sites are married. He said the liars out there are about 50/50 men and women, but they’re after different things.

“Men are looking to cheat or have a criminal record they’re lying about,” said Gater. “Women are doing it for the fantasy or financial fraud.”

Gater said he was hired to check out the “ripped young Greek dude” who turned out to be a short Asian man. When confronted, he claimed he used to be a ripped, young Greek man until he had reconstructive surgery following a motorcycle crash.

“That somehow changed his race and shortened him a good four inches,” said Gater. “Be careful out there.”

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The Science of Anxiety and the Two Faces of Infidelity

In this business we often see checklists–catalogs of clues that a spouse might be cheating.

A quick Google search for “signs of infidelity” returns no fewer than 200,000 hits for “how to spot a cheating spouse,” how to tell if he’s stepping out, ways to tell if he’s got a new lover. These lists are almost always the same: new perfume, new interest in physical appearance, secretive phone calls, mysterious expenditures, etc.

If you’ve ever had reason to perform that particular Google search, you know the feeling: it’s that little kernel of doubt that sneaks into a marriage and destroys confidence, trust, and peace. Maybe it presents itself in small doses, meting out insecurity in infinitesimal portions. Maybe it walks into the room and screams.

Either way, those lurking unknowns and suspicions fuel a growing unease that can rapidly escalate to anxiety, stress, even a sort of mental paralysis. And the cheater experiences a form of anxiety as well—the stress that accompanies the need to lie to maintain a façade of normalcy.

Anxiety – The cuckold/cuckquean’s perspective
Anxiety is a byproduct of fear, and fear of the unknown is, perhaps, the most distressing variety. Anxiety closes down the thinking brain and activates the body-protecting lizard brain, the reacting brain. As Gregory Hartley puts it in his book, How to Spot a Liar, philanderers are, “…brokers of anxiety.” When a person thinks his spouse is cheating on him, he receives a jolt to his idea of self and his frame of reference.

We organize our idea of self by assembling input from others and various situations. Our frame of reference, our view of the outside world, is prejudiced by experience. When one suspects infidelity, both self and frame of reference are questioned. Confusion and emotion take charge…anxiety rents space in the brain.

Anxiety – The cheater’s perspective
When people have affairs, they lie to maintain their cover. Big and small non-truths leak out in a sludge of constant mendacity. From hiding credit card receipts to sneaking off to the back porch for late-night small talk via cell phone, every aspect of a deceptive person’s life is caught up in half-truths, fabrication, and deceit. And when someone tells a lie, he places himself under stress. He lives in constant fear of discovery.

Stress and the Sympathetic Nervous System
When the mammalian body perceives a threat, the sympathetic nervous system takes over and kick-starts the body’s “fight-or-flight” response. Blood is routed away from the face and skin to the muscles. Blood is diverted away from the digestive tract. The bladder no longer has the ability to contract and expel waste. The liver floods the blood stream with glucose, preparing for physical activity. Heart rate and respiration increase and nostrils flare, offering the lizard brain a heavy dose of oxygenated blood. Metabolism is heightened, sweating intensifies. Pupils dilate to collect as much data about the threat as possible. Gregory Hartley calls this, “your mind at war.”

The outward signs are always visible, if sometimes only in very minute forms. The stressed person’s hands may shake. His complexion may appear pallid. His mouth and lips dry out, a result of dramatically reduced blood flow. Mucosa shrink, leading to pale thin lips and drooping lower eyelids. The brow clinches and draws downward. Shoulders draw tight in preparation for defense. Elbows are in, close to the ribcage in a defensive posture.

Inside, the stressed person feels jittery, hypersensitive. Thanks to a lack of blood in the digestive system, the person feels a sensation of butterflies in the stomach; he may even feel nausea. With the heart racing blood away from the skin, the anxious person feels a high core temperature and cool skin, that clammy feeling. His focus becomes narrow and sense of hearing is directed at the source of the threat. He hears his own heartbeat. His mind recedes to a primitive state, and emotions work their way involuntarily to the fore. The person under stress often becomes defensive, argumentative, and emotional.

These systems turn on at the cost of rational thought, leading to what Seth Godin calls “lizard brain.” Irrationality is the rule at this point.

How to stop the cycle: The Simple (well…maybe not so simple) Fix for Stress

The cheater
Simple answer – Do not cheat. Alternative answer – stop telling lies.

In one case last year, we were hired by a woman’s attorney to document a philandering husband’s activities. We placed him under heavy surveillance–three cars and four investigators. We documented the man’s every move, dates, picnics, overnight visits, etc. Confronted with his lies, the man took an unusual tack, opting to eliminate his ongoing stress and simply carry on the affair in the open. He even brought his new girlfriend to a meeting at the attorney’s office. He thereby removed the burden of a lie, and his stress level seemed to drop. From a purely practical perspective, this wasn’t a bad call.

Ending the affair is always the best solution. But coming clean about an affair can at least remove the deceit variable from the equation and, along with it, some of the accompanying stress. And it might even allow the dallier to regain access to rational thought, which just might lead to more productive discourse.

The Cuckold/Cuckquean
Simple answer – remove the unknown.
Again, anxiety is a byproduct of fear, often fear of the unknown. Do not guess. Do not assume. Know. Anxiety leads to “lizard brain,” and in that state, irrationality is the rule.

Shakespeare didn’t need to understand the sympathetic nervous system to recognize it at work on the human rational mind. He sketched this lizard-brain descent from suspicion to anxiety to madness (to brilliant effect) in his 1603 play “Othello” in which a man desperately in love with his wife allows his unwarranted suspicions to prompt a series of escalating irrational acts, ending in tragedy—the old one-two punch of murder-suicide, always, unfortunately, performed in that order.

Though potentially painful, it is always best to eliminate the unknown. Once a person has the facts…once he eliminates the unknown, he can remove anxiety, and (potentially) act rationally.

Conclusion.
For the cheating spouse: Gregory Hartley says, “You will simplify your life enormously if you eliminate complete fabrication from your repertoire.” Simply put, stop lying and placing yourself under needless stress.

For the spouse who fears a partner is having an affair: get the facts. Consider hiring a competent and qualified investigator to learn the facts on your behalf. Find out what’s really happening, then act rationally from a place of knowledge and power.

Here at ONQPI Investigations, we believe that our role is to help our clients contain the unknown. By gathering documented and verifiable information, we hope to help people move from a state of fear and helplessness to higher cognitive function…and rational action.